“Willie, Robert Wood Johnson has been double billing us for Johnny on everything,” said Leah. “Did you look at the bills?” Willie’s primary technique for dealing with bills he couldn’t pay was simply not to look at them, but Leah looking at them caught Willie off guard. “Leave that alone, I’ll take care of those,” said Willie. “They’re more than sixty days past due and there’s two of everything. Two emergency room charges, two charges from the anesthesiologist, there’s even a second obstetrician - some doctor I’ve never even heard of.” 

​There were two bills for everything because Willie was receiving bills for both baby-John and bastard-John Rocinante. Willie didn’t have money to pay the deductibles and copays for either.

Bourbon Billy

The Bastard


“Irish-twins, right? That’s what you call it when you have two kids the same year. What is it when you have two kids by two women the same week, Willie?” “Puerto Rican twins.”